Tom Hulsey, BSBA, Survivor, Volunteer Research Advocate, UT Southwestern, Dallas, Texas, Patient Perspectives Associate Editor, AUANews, Patient Education Council, AUA, Clinical Trials Collective, AUA; Lauren Hulsey, BASoc, Co-survivor

Cancer survivors know the helpless feeling of the world spiraling out of our control.

When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer almost 10 years ago, I made the near-fatal decision not to tell anyone except family and a couple of close friends (none of them had experienced prostate cancer). Lauren was sworn to secrecy. As a result, we were isolated. We suffered in silence. Reflecting on that decision, I realized that keeping it bottled up inside was a huge mistake. Also, just before my diagnosis, we witnessed one of our best friends lose his life to prostate cancer.

The diagnosis sent me into a tailspin. I was ready to quit. I was not even trying to fight the disease. We were overwhelmed. However, loved ones gave me reasons to fight. I wanted to be around to walk our daughter down the aisle.

Most importantly, I wanted to live for my wife and co-survivor, Lauren. She traveled the journey with me, every step of the way.

With all the ups and downs, my cancer has given us a wonderful perspective on life and a purpose. We are passionate about utilizing our lived experiences to fuel positive changes and impact the cancer community. Along the way, we learned that the more advocates are involved, the more advocacy can serve the community and contribute to future advancements for cancer patients.

Last summer, Lauren and I participated in the River Discovery Cancer Survivor and Co-survivor Retreat along the Salmon River in Idaho with 21 other survivors and co-survivors. The backdrop was breathtaking.

It takes courage to talk about cancer, especially with people you just met (Figure). It was inspiring to hear how these conversations were empowering and cathartic for us and others. Cancer impacted each of us differently, yet in ways that are equally significant. What was impressive about these conversations was that everyone brought a unique set of experiences and knowledge to the open dialogue. We connected with people who had different types of cancer survivorship journeys. We learned that regardless of the type of cancer, we all shared the same emotions, including fear and hope.

Figure. River Discovery Cancer Survivor and Co-survivor Retreat on the Salmon River in central Idaho. Photo credit: www.giophoto.com.

The River Discovery adventure immersed us in nature: whitewater rafting, kayaking, cliff jumping, and sleeping under the stars. The healing power of nature extends beyond physical activity by improving mood and reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. This experience allowed us to envision a life beyond cancer with a focus on optimizing physical, mental, and emotional health through positive habits. The important lesson we learned together: take care of your body so you will be more prepared physically and mentally when something does happen.

We have learned that there are no guarantees when it comes to your health, but it is important to see the big picture. Your health is your wealth. Make yourself a priority.

Prioritizing your health truly is essential because it forms the foundation for everything else in life.

Focusing on living an overall healthy lifestyle is critical during and after treatment. Focusing on healthy living gives you control of your health.

We’ve learned that when you conquer your fears, you find strength you didn’t know you had, and you’re capable of doing incredible things. No matter how hard we try to avoid the things that frighten us, there is no way around them, only through. Going through fear takes courage and diligence.

A cancer diagnosis creates a “new normal.” We were husband and wife first. A dynamic as survivor and co-survivor has been added to our relationship.