Everyone, both men and women, deserves to experience an orgasm. There are several disparities between men and women, including longevity between men and women, gender pay disparity, and orgasm disparity. The orgasm gap, or pleasure gap, is a social and physical phenomenon referring to the general inequality between men and women in terms of sexual satisfaction—more specifically, the unequal frequency in the achievement of orgasm during sexual encounters.

Currently, across every demographic studied, women report the lowest frequency of reaching orgasm during sexual encounters with men. The size of the orgasm gap varies from 20% to 72%, to the disadvantage of women.¹ This report will discuss the definition and causes of orgasm disparity and suggestions for closing that gap.

Studies have found that heterosexual women have the fewest orgasms during sex, which could come from a lack of understanding of female anatomy, the vulva, and the clitoris.²

A pleasurable and healthy sex life can’t be measured purely by how many orgasms people have. Still, studies have found a considerable difference between the number of orgasms men and women experience in heterosexual relationships.

Gap Disparity

Multiple factors may contribute to the orgasm gap. The fault for the orgasm gap doesn’t lie with penises or vaginas. The fault lies primarily in cultural expectations and traditions and a lack of knowledge of what stimulations are most effective for the female partner.

From ancient times, sex has been surrounded by myths and misinformation. Since recorded history began, sexual intimacy has been relegated primarily to procreative activity. Historically, other forms of sexual intercourse, such as oral sex, anal sex, and oral clitoral stimulation, were considered immoral. We have moved beyond antiquated values, and most people openly embrace sex for pleasure and procreation.

Most people use the terms sex and intercourse interchangeably. Due to our culturally established ideas that sex is the insertion of a penis into the vagina, women are less likely to experience orgasms. Unfortunately, vaginal penetration favors male orgasms, whereas clitoral and genital arousal favors female orgasms. Clitoral stimulation and oral sex are often classified as foreplay rather than sexual experiences.

Another hangover from our puritanical past is the definition of the end of a sexual act. Traditionally, sex was associated with procreation. Sex was considered complete once the male deposited his semen into the vagina. Unfortunately, female orgasm wasn’t deemed necessary because it didn’t contribute to procreation. Even today, men may consider the sexual act complete after ejaculation, regardless of whether their female partners have achieved an orgasm.

There has been abundant information on the role of the penis and very little on the anatomy and physiology of the clitoris. The penis serves multiple purposes—urination, procreation, and pleasure. However, in women, all these purposes are distributed among different organs. The clitoris is the seat of ultimate female pleasure, making it key to female orgasms. Less than 10% of women can orgasm with vaginal penetration alone.³ Most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm.

Additional causes for the existence of the orgasm gap include:

• Women are judged more harshly for wanting casual sex than men
• Sex education focuses on abstinence or procreation—not female sexual pleasure
• The lack of awareness of the clitoris’s crucial role in female orgasms
• Little to no education in sexual communication, which is essential for female orgasms
• Body consciousness and lack of self-esteem can come in the way of experiencing sexual pleasure.

Closing the Orgasm Gap

Good communication is vital when it comes to female orgasms. There are differences between women regarding what they need to orgasm—and what women need to orgasm can vary from one encounter to another. Many women are plagued by body image self-consciousness during sex, and it’s impossible to have an orgasm while worrying if they are feeling fat.

Tips to help women experience orgasms:⁴

• Expect and request more oral sex and clitoral stimulation
• Increase the duration of the sexual experience
• Focus on methods to improve the overall quality of the relationship
• Discuss what you expect in bed
• Praise the sexual partner when they do something correctly
• Tactfully give instructions to the partner’s do’s and don’ts
• Explore new sex positions
• Explore anal stimulation
• Discuss sex fantasies
• Express love during the sexual experience

Women should teach themselves (and their partners) about clitoral stimulation. Developing an understanding of the clitoris isn’t enough to achieve consistent orgasms. Women must explore their bodies to discover their erogenous zones. Women need to discover their bodies and accurately instruct their sexual partners on what they enjoy and what areas of their bodies require stimulation.

In their landmark research on sexual function and dysfunction published in 1970, Masters and Johnson also emphasized the educational direction of the partner in genital-play episodes. Their research revealed the most significant error of men is “the direct attack on the clitoral glans.” Their studies emphasized for a satisfactory sexual encounter, stimulation of the general mons area along either side of the clitoral shaft. In addition, their study of female sexual response found that the inner aspect of the thighs and labia are erotic areas for most women.⁵

Numerous clitoral-focused sex toys have arisen to help women achieve orgasms. Clitoral sex toys focus on clitoral stimulation to help women achieve regular orgasms and bridge the orgasm gap. Clitoral vibrators are effective in delivering sonic pulses into the clitoris. These sonic pulses vibrate the entire clitoral structure, helping women achieve orgasms within minutes.

Once women understand their bodies, they can more accurately guide their partners to help achieve better orgasms.

Women’s orgasms are an area where knowledge is insufficient. When penetration is involved, it’s often considered the main event and mistakenly assumed to be the way that both partners should orgasm. So, to close the orgasm gap, partners must hold clitoral and erogenous zones stimulation and vaginal penetration as all-important in achieving female orgasm.

Bottom Line: It’s obvious that closing the orgasm gap isn’t easy—not for individual women or our culture. Still, it’s well worth the effort. With enhanced understanding and communication, both men and women will be happier if sexual intimacy and orgasm are a shared event and equal for both.