In this series, the Column editors will interview urology residents about their experiences pursuing the field and advice they have for medical students. Here, we continue our interview with Asia Matthew-Onabanjo, MD, PhD and Hannah Kay, MD, third-year residents at the University of North Carolina.

EDITORS: WHAT FACTORS WERE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE CONSIDERING RESIDENCY PROGRAMS?

Dr Matthew-Onabanjo: I prioritized a place where I would get the best training but could also feel like a mom. I have two kids. I didn’t shy away from talking about my kids during the interview process because I felt that if a program didn’t want to take me because I had kids, then that wouldn’t be the program for me.

People prioritize different things. Some of my friends wanted a change in scenery—to go to a city where they work hard but still have a good time and meet new people. A lot of people prioritize family. I always tell medical students to write down the things that are important. It’s really up to you and what you want to experience; you can then find places that align with that.

Dr Kay: I actually did not prioritize being near family, which I have since reflected on. In my head, I had already been away from home—I was in Texas for eight years, and my family is all in California. I didn’t realize that being across the country is different. It can be really hard to be 3 time zones and no direct flights away. I love my program, and I absolutely want to be here. However, I caution people to perhaps take this decision more seriously than I did, since I would love for my family to be closer.

EDITORS: WHAT SURPRISED YOU ABOUT RESIDENCY?

Dr Matthew-Onabanjo: This surprised me in a good way—there is a significant amount of autonomy. You’ll hear that word so many times on the interview trail, but they really prioritize your ability to operate, let you try a lot, and get you out of your comfort zone—obviously within reason. You learn a lot very quickly by having that autonomy.

Dr Kay: The amount of work—it’s a bit of a shock to the system. As I’ve grown, I’ve also been surprised about how my relationship with my attendings has developed. They’re like friends now, and they’re going to be colleagues soon. I feel like I can approach them about things other than just work. They can actually help me with my life, and they’re invested in that. That’s a cool transformation that’s happening right now.

EDITORS: WHAT HAVE BEEN YOUR FAVORITE AND LEAST FAVORITE PARTS OF RESIDENCY SO FAR?

Dr Matthew-Onabanjo: The people. I have really great coresidents. I think that always makes the residency experience no matter what you do, whether it’s family medicine, emergency medicine, anything. The camaraderie among our group is awesome.

The thing I like the least is administrative work. It can be difficult when you have to do that for many patients, but it is a necessary evil.

Dr Kay: With any career in medicine, you can feel like you’re missing out on life that’s happening to others around you. Sometimes you have to miss things—weddings, birthdays, baby showers—and that can be really hard to reconcile.

But, truthfully, I love coming to work everyday. Our resident room is genuinely one of my happy places. I have cried in there. I have laughed so much in there. I am so grateful for the people I get to do this with every day. That’s a cheesy answer, but the people are my favorite part.

EDITORS: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PROGRAM WOULD BE A GREAT FIT FOR HAVING A FAMILY AND GOOD BALANCE?

Dr Matthew-Onabanjo: The summer before I applied, I talked with Dr [Angie] Smith, who is one of our attendings and has two kids. I honestly knew in that moment that this is where I wanted to be. She was super supportive, expressing sentiments like, “Oh, you have kids? That’s awesome. We can make this work. It’ll be fine.” She never shied away from talking about my kids, and she made it seem like it wasn’t some far-out concept that I had kids.

There also are a lot of female attendings here who have kids, and they’re doing just fine. That helped me see that the environment was supportive.

EDITORS: WHAT DO YOU APPRECIATE MOST ABOUT YOUR PROGRAM?

Dr Kay: We’re very much a close-knit, familial program. I mean, a lot of our attendings have us call them by their first names. I also have learned really well in our environment. I know it’s not for everyone, but you have the opportunity to struggle on your own, knowing that you can always call for help if you need it. That’s been a powerful tool; from second-year residents to the chair, everybody trusts each other. It’s really helped me grow as a physician and a surgeon.

EDITORS: BEFORE WE WRAP UP, DO YOU HAVE ANY PARTING ADVICE TO MEDICAL STUDENTS?

Dr Matthew-Onabanjo: I am always trying to encourage other moms to go into surgery and urology specifically. I would say to those expecting mamas or those who are already moms, don’t discount surgery or any surgical subspecialty. You can figure out how to make it work.

It does take a big support network. One of my favorite attendings in trauma surgery when I was a medical student said to outsource everything. This is so that when you go to work, you just do your job, and you learn everything you can learn as a resident. And when you come home, you can hang out with and spend a lot of time with your kids. Honestly, that’s been my motto. To the mamas out there, surgery is awesome. Urology is an amazing field, and you can be an excellent surgeon and mom.

The responses presented here are compiled from individual interviews with each participant.